There Comes a Time

There Comes a Time

By Unknown

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!

Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety & security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are, what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship.

You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love.... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms... just to make you happy. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely...

You look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK.... and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And, you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn, that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time... FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening.

And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state - the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

 

Everything happens for a reason

"Everything happens for a reason," the doctor said. "I've learned that today's tragedy can turn into tomorrow's blessing. I know it's hard, but you've got to keep focused on thankfulness, not bitterness."

"Oh, right,' Johnny snapped. "Obviously you don't know anything about it. One minute I've got a happy normal life and the next I'm laying here waiting to have some stupid lump cut out of my brain. Now, why the 'H' would I be thankful for that?"

"I can't answer that question," the doctor sighed, "but let me share something with you. I know a man who lost a leg in an accident. He was extremely bitter because just two weeks earlier he'd signed a contract to play professional ball." "And,"

Johnny cut him off, "I'll bet you gave him the same, 'be thankful not bitter crap' you're feeding me now, right?"

"No," the doctor replied, tapping his artificial leg, "I had to hear it from someone else. But I got past it and became a doctor. I'm thankful everyday for the lives I help save, including yours."

*~Giving thanks and praise generates enormous inner strength~*

By: Nick Nicholas

WHEN YOU JUDGE YOURSELF

Charles Allen, in his book Victories in the Valleys of Life
(Fleming H. Revell, 1981), tells the story of a man who, one
wintry day, went to traffic court in Wichita, Kansas, not knowing
court had been canceled because of a blizzard. A few days later
he wrote this letter:

"I was scheduled to be in court February 23rd, at
12:15 p.m., concerning a traffic ticket. Well, I was
there as scheduled and, to my surprise, I was the
only one there. No one had called to tell me that
the court would be closed, so I decided to go ahead
with the hearing as scheduled, which meant that
I had to be the accuser, the accused and the judge.
The citation was for going 46 miles per hour in a
35-mile-per-hour zone. I had the speed alert on
in my car, set for 44 miles per hour; and as the
accuser, I felt that I was going over 35 miles per
hour, but as the accused, I know that I was not
going 46 miles per hour. As judge, and being the
understanding man that I am, I decided to throw it
out of court this time. But it had better not happen
again."

He had a rare opportunity to judge himself and took full
advantage. On the other hand, we probably judge ourselves all day
long. We may even react more harshly to our own mistakes and
errors than we would ever react to those same shortcomings in
others.

Two thousand years ago a Roman writer named Publilius Syrus
observed, "How unhappy are they who cannot forgive themselves."
Whether dealing with others or with ourselves, it usually helps
to err on the side of grace. Do you need to be gentler with
yourself?

> From Steve Goodier's TOUCHING MOMENTS
 

Stress Reducers
 

Pray

Go to bed on time.

Get up early so you can start the day unrushed.

Say No, to projects that won't fit into your time
schedule, or that will compromise your mental health.

Delegate tasks to capable others.

Simplify and unclutter your life.

Less is more. (Although one is often not enough,
two are often too many.)

Allow extra time to do things and to get to places.

Pace yourself. Spread out big changes and
difficult projects over time; don't lump the hard
things all together.

Take one day at a time.

Separate worries from concerns. If a situation
is a concern, find out what God would have you
to do and let go of the anxiety. If you can't do
anything about a situation, forget it.

Live within your budget; don't use credit cards
for ordinary purchases.

Have backups; an extra car key in your wallet,
an extra house key buried in the garden, etc.

K.M.S. (Keep Mouth Shut.) This single piece of
advice can prevent an enormous amount of trouble.

Do something for the Kid in You everyday.

Get enough exercise.

Eat right.

Get organized so everything has its place.

Listen to a tape while driving that can help
improve your quality of life.

Write thoughts and inspirations down.

Everyday, find time to be alone.

Having problems? Talk to God on the spot.
Try to nip small problems in the bud. Don't wait
until its time to go to bed to try and pray.

Remember that the shortest bridge between
despair and hope is often a good "Thank you,
Lord!"

Laugh.

Laugh some more!

Take your work seriously, but not yourself.

Develop a forgiving attitude (just realize that most
people are doing the best they can).

Be kind to unkind people (they probably need it
the most).

Sit on your ego.

Talk less; listen more.

Slow down.

Remind yourself that you are not the general
manager of the universe.

Every night before bed, think of one thing you're
grateful for that you've never been grateful for before.

** GOD HAS A WAY OF TURNING THINGS AROUND FOR YOU**

Stress is the number one killer in the world today.
(Remember how you felt the last time you were
stressed?) Reducing stress in your life should
become a major priority. Your life depends on it.
 

1. Thou shalt regard the word, "Hepatitis", as exactly that: a word. Nothing more, nothing less. For its original meaning has changed mightily over the years, as have such words as Smallpox, TB, and Polio, all once dreaded ailments, now non-existent as maladies. And thus shalt go thy Hepatitis. The answer shall come to those who shall be present to hear it. Be present when it comes.

2. Thou shalt love thy interferon, and thy other treatments even as thyself, for they are thy friends and champions. Although they exact a toll for their endeavors, they are oft most generous in the favors they bestow.

3. Thou shalt participate fully in thy recovery. Thou shalt learn all the details of thy ailment, its diagnosis, its prognosis, its treatments, conventional and alternate. Thou shalt discuss them openly and candidly with thy hepatologist and shalt question all thou do not comprehend. Then, thou shalt cooperate intelligently and knowledgeably with thy doctor.

4. Thou shalt regard thy ailment as a temporary detour in thy life and shalt plan thy future as though this detour had not occurred. Thou shalt never, at no time, nohow, regard thy temporary ailment as permanent. Thou shalt set long-term goals for thyself. For thou WILL verily recover and thy believing so will contribute mightily to thy recovery.

5. Thou shalt express thy feelings candidly and openly to thy loved ones for they, too, are stricken. Thou shalt comfort and reassure them for they, too, needest comforting and reassurance, even as thou doest.

6. Thou shalt be a comfort to thy fellow-Hepsters, providing knowledge, encouragement, understanding and love. You shalt give them hope where there may be none, for only in hope lies their salvation. And by doing so, thou providest comfort for thyself, as well.

7. Thou shalt never relinquish hope, no matter how thou may feelest at that moment, for thou knowest, in the deep recesses of thy heart, that your discouragement is but fleeting and that a better day awaits thee.

8. Thou shalt not regard thy ailment as the sum total of thy life but as merely a part of it. Fill your life with other diversions, be they mundane, daring, altruistic, or merely amusing. To fill your life with your ailment is to surrender to it.

9. Thou shalt maintain, at all times and in all circumstances, thy sense of humor, for laughter lightens thy heart and hastens thy recovery. This is not an easy task, sometimes seemingly impossible, but it is a goal well worth the endeavor.

10. Thou shalt have enduring and unassailable faith, whether thy faith be in a Supreme Being, in Medical Science, in Thy Future, in Thyself, or in Whatever. Steadfastly sustain thy faith for it shall sustain thee.

Swiped and edited from The Ten Commandments for Cancer Survival: by Paul H. Klein 72773,2241 (Compuserve)

(From one of the supporters of this Web Page) Patty is on treatment, while fighting cirrhosis. She has given so much support to all those fighting this disease. She is my hero, and a friend to all.)

Although the definition of a survivor is anyone who has ever been diagnosed with a life threatening disease and is alive today.   The first time I read it, I didn't feel like a survivor. A Hep C victim seemed a much more accurate term. But then the dust settled, treatment began, and I realized the "victim" thing just didn't fit. I tossed the victim/survivor issue around and finally came to the conclusion that a victim and a survivor are the same thing - almost! The differences are subtle but at the same time enormous. The first thing I realized it that a survivor is a victim with an attitude. After I understood that, things were a little better. I had a choice about something - I could be a Hep C victim or a Hep C survivor. I like the idea of having an attitude and I like the sound of being a survivor.

Survivorship is a state of mind - despite the moments of sadness and pain we must never lose our ability to laugh - we must treasure every moment and face each new situation to the best of our ability. We must never allow this virus to reach our spirit. I think that makes us survivors in the truest sense of the word.

The difference between being a survivor or a victim become clearer as the days and week pass. I am sure every survivor can add one or two of their own thoughts and ideas.

Being a victim is a state of body - being a survivor is a state of mind.

A victim knows about feeling down - a survivor know feeling down is okay.

A victim dreads the side effects of treatments - a survivor wonders how to cancel their membership in the Side-Effect-of-the-Month Club.

A victim is amazed at all their tears - a survivor never leaves home without Kleenex.

A victim goes to "see" a doctor - a survivor "consults" with his or her physician.

A victim feels helpless - a survivor says "thanks" with dignity and grace.

A victim enjoys a good laugh - a survivor loves one.

From the moment we are diagnosed, we are victims - we must choose to be survivors.

Author: Paula (Bachleda) Koskey

http://www.hepatitismag.com/features/default.asp?HepStoryID=18
Studies are proving what religious believers have known for years: Prayer can be a powerful drug.

By: Heather Daigle

Gary Sladek had hit rock bottom. After he and his wife had endured the pain of several miscarriages and his wife had been diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis, being told he had hepatitis C left him so low he had nowhere to look but upward.

Not a spiritually active couple at the time, Gary and his wife — out of desperation for some help in their lives — accepted a neighbor’s invitation to attend church. The message he heard that Sunday morning touched him on such a personal level that he thought his neighbor had to be passing notes about his life to the pastor. “All of the sudden,” Sladek said, “it was like someone opened a door that we had never looked through before.”

Sladek said his new relationship with God began to transform his life — removing fears and replacing them with a hope he had felt was no longer attainable. Time spent in prayer, he said, gave him peace and changed his heart. “It seemed that it just split my life in two: the life before (God) and the life with (God),” Sladek said. “It seems like my life now has so much more reward and fulfillment than my life before.”

Scientific Prayer

But is prayer the reason for Sladek’s feeling better physically as well as spiritually? Does prayer — either personal or intercessory — really have the power to heal wounds inflicted on organs more corporeal than the soul?

In a study published in 1998 in the Western Journal of Medicine, intercessory prayer — or prayer given on behalf of someone else — was shown to benefit 40 advanced AIDS patients. The study, which used a double-blind randomized method showed subjects treated by distant healers of various world religions acquired significantly fewer new AIDS-defining illnesses, had lower illness severity, and required significantly fewer doctor visits, fewer hospitalizations and fewer days of hospitalization than those in the control group who received no prayer.

In addition, Dr. Randolph Byrd, in a 1982-83 study published in the Southern Medical Journal, said the resulting data of his research suggest that intercessory prayer to the Judeo-Christian God has a beneficial therapeutic effect in patients admitted to a coronary care unit. Byrd evaluated the effects of intercessory prayer by randomly assigning nearly half of the 393 patients to one of many prayer groups; patients were not informed of which group — the experiment or the control — in which they were placed. Prayer groups comprised of three to seven Christians prayed for but had no contact with the patients.

While the patients in both groups had the same levels of sickness upon entering the hospital, those prayed for fared better — they had fewer complications during their stay, and they were less likely to need antibiotics, diuretics or the insertion of tubes for feeding or breathing. Sladek said he did not need a study to tell him about the power of prayer; he just needed a moment of revelation.

During his second bout with interferon — the combination therapy — Sladek became overwhelmed by the physical and emotional toll the drugs took on his body. “I didn’t realize what a rough ride it was going to be,” he said, “and what a lonely ride it was.” One day while driving, Sladek said, he became so overwhelmed with the burden of his illness and the treatment that he had to pull over to the side of the road to allow the flood of emotions to be released into tears.

Filling A Void

Thereafter, it was through prayer that Sladek said he began to realize God was in control and had a plan for his life — and he felt God’s plan was for him to start a support group. “God clearly spoke to me through my quiet times, through my meditation times, through my painful times as I was praying,” Sladek said. “It was that feeling that this was something I had to act on.”

Knowing the needs of people who, like him, were facing not only a deadly disease but the brutal treatment that accompanies it, Sladek decided his support group needed to offer something more than speakers and moral support: he could provide prayer and spiritual encouragement. Seeing the need in the community, his home church, Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., allowed him the opportunity to form a hepatitis C support group. He needed to offer prayer.

Sladek incorporates prayer in several ways. He begins each session with a short prayer and ends it with a small but applicable Bible lesson to encourage the patients. Throughout the meetings, one of the support group’s leaders writes down what the group members share — needs, frustrations, side effects — that will be prayed for by the prayer team, who commits to pray for each attendee until the next monthly meeting. “The people who participate and believe in the power of prayer — I think what we see is a load lifted off of them that someone who actually cares is praying for them,” Sladek said. “We’ve absolutely seen miracles.”

Lesley Grainger — a member of the group’s prayer team — is one of those miracles. Diagnosed with hepatitis C in February 2001, she overcame her initial shock and decided to let God and prayer be her guidance in battling the disease.

Miracle Cure

Grainger opted to postpone interferon therapy while she tried to have another child, all the while praying for herself and others. But what happened in February — during the fifth month of her pregnancy — she considers nothing short of a gift from God. While getting some prenatal exams and blood work done for her liver, Grainger got the news every hepatitis patient wants to hear. “I went for a prenatal checkup to get the results in February, and the doctor said to me, ‘Oh yes, you’re negative on your hepatitis C.’ I said to her, ‘I’m not negative, I have hepatitis C.’ She said, ‘Oh no, you’re negative.’ And I said, ‘No you must have it wrong,’” Grainger said. “I was standing there arguing with her.”

Grainger called her gastroenterologist, and he checked her records and affirmed that she was HCV negative. The reason for her undetectable level, he said was spontaneous conversion. “I said to him, ‘Don’t you mean that that is a miracle?’ And he said, ‘No we call it spontaneous conversion,’ and I started laughing,” she said. Three months later she’s still negative. Her ALT had gone from 95 to 12 — well into the normal range — her PCR test came back negative, and all her liver function tests came back normal. “Ever since I found out, I’ve really been doing a lot of thinking,” she said. “The one thing that keeps going through my mind is when Jesus heals in the Bible, he tells them to go and tell everybody what God has done for them. That’s what I want to do. I want to go out and tell people what God has done for me, and how I want to glorify his name through the power of healing.”

A Little Faith

While healing may be the ultimate answer to prayer for those with hepatitis C, it is not the only answer or benefit. Dr. Harold G. Koenig of the Center for the Study of Religion/ Spirituality and Health at Duke University has headed up a number of studies that confirm personal prayer and religious activities have a positive impact on health. Using scientific methods, he researched the effects of prayer on issues such as emotional and mental health, the immune system and the ability to cope with illness.

“The studies indicate fairly consistently that people who pray — people who have a strong religious faith and rely on their faith to help them cope — they have more hope, more optimism,” said Koenig, associate professor of medicine and associate professor of psychiatry at Duke University Medical Center. “They have more of a sense of meaning and purpose to their lives despite their serious medical illness. It’s especially important for people who have serious and chronic medical conditions.”

Koenig said although his studies cannot prove God is behind the well being of the patients studied, they do show that through psychological, social and behavioral mechanisms people do better when they have a strong religious faith. “These behaviors and these beliefs can contribute to their healing — they (contribute to) emotional healing and sometimes even their physical bodies.”

Strength To Endure One of Koenig’s studies, published in the International Journal of Psychiatry in Medicine, found that out of 3,963 patients, blood pressure rates were considerably lower in those who pray regularly and attend weekly religious services. Additionally, in a study of religion in hospitalized patients published in the International Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry 40 percent of patients spontaneously reported that their religious faith was the most important factor that enabled them to cope.

HCV patient Mack Leggett said, “Prayer is the only thing that keeps me ticking because if I didn’t have the Lord — and I can’t talk about prayer without talking about the Lord — if I did not have him in my life I couldn’t keep going on.”

Having contracted hepatitis C through a blood transfusion as a result of his hemophilia, Leggett is aware of the serious nature of his illnesses. Leggett said he has been deathly sick on several occasions — even to the point where no one thought he would survive. While these health risks might drive some into anxiety and despair, he said he has peace. “I don’t have any problem going into the operating room, even though I have hemophilia and I know I could bleed to death real easily,” Leggett said. “I trust and know that the Lord is in control … if he’s ready to take me home — to heaven — that’s fine.”

Peace At The Crossroads

Michael Davis, another member of the support group at Saddleback Church, said prayer also helps in the process of decision making. At age 46 with late-stage liver disease, which he believes he acquired 30 years ago, Davis’ hope lies in a transplant. In April, Davis’ doctor found his blood contained an alpha feta protein, which is an indicator of a cancerous tumor. Although doctors were unable to locate his tumor through magnetic resonance imaging tests and CT scans, they were confident it was there.

At this point, Davis heard many contradicting viewpoints — should he have the surgery to remove the cancer or not? With his late-stage liver disease, some doctors said the invasive surgery would be too much for his body to handle, and the process itself might kill him. Other doctors said he was more likely to die of cancer and the surgery was necessary. “So with these two different opinions we had to make a decision, and this is a point where prayer came in while looking for guidance,” Davis said. “I just prayed that God would help me make the right choice, and waited. God speaks to me through an intuitive feeling that this is the right direction for me to go.”

After giving it some thought and letting some time pass, Davis decided to let the surgeons take an aggressive approach to try to eliminate the cancer. Because he had made the decision in prayer, he was confident in his decision. “(Prayer) reduced the level of anxiety,” Davis said. “It wasn’t as though I made the decision and jumped back and forth with it — it was a very calming type of resolve.”

Now, after enduring a chemoembolization, Davis said doctors believe they have cut off the blood supply to the tumor. “Now the amazing news I received from the doctors is I can expect to receive a liver within 30 days,” Davis said. “That is the most amazing thing about all of this.”

Uplifted Spirits

Davis said prayer has been an integral part of his life with hepatitis C. “I think a lot of times what happens is people who have chronic diseases — they get depressed,” he said. “Prayer was something that helped to alleviate the depression that is a result of the chronic disease. A lot of times my praying would be asking God for help to get through the disease.”

In his time with God, Davis said he searched through the Bible for different passages that would give him a different perspective or a different attitude about his condition. He said he enjoyed reading the gospels and the promises Christ made about believing in him. “There were a lot of times he was talking to the Pharisees about being the type of food that would never spoil — he is eternally fulfilling,” he said. “I believe we have to trust in God that whatever he wishes is going to happen — that God has reasons for these things. The thing about trusting in the Lord is it gives you a comfort that regardless of whether we can understand and accept a certain thing, it’s being done according to God’s wishes, and there’s a bigger reason for bad things that happen to good people.”

_______

Heather Daigle is editorial assistant of Hepatitis.

"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others.
And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them."  --The Dalai Lama

"If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one."  --Mother Teresa

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."  --Helen Keller

"The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials."  --Confucius

"Don't wait for a crisis to discover what is important in life."

"You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late."  --Ralph Waldo Emerson

These are some of our favorites - we hope some of yours are here too!
Many of these poems have been written by our readers. We are always looking for poems to share. Please submit any of your favorites or if you wish to show you own works please send them to us, you will maintain the Copyrights to your work, Jan and Friends will maintain non-exclusive rights to display your work.

From our Grizz

UNION CARESSES

Cover above stretching its eternal vastness
Clear is the blue - black night
Stars dancing with their glistening talk so bright
Orange moon as if fireside warmed glowing down
Trees leaves vibrant, supple green in early summer newness
Rustling as gentle spirit winds lift and turn branches in passing

Somewhere in the darkness owls eyes peer in hunting readiness
Bats flap and swirl sonically
Released from caves hanging perches
Into nocturnal sky ever searching
Where bears sleep away the evening hours contentedly
Bellies wild berry filled
Dreaming of tomorrows expectant summer kills

In the stillness of late night hours - Father Sky's coolness
Unions caressingly with the after warmth of past days sun
As Mother Earth releases from her smiling richness
The gift of beckoning promises of fertilities

Nelson - 6/2/02

I have never been on any treatments for my HCV. I don't know what it is like to feel as if you have the flu each day. I have never had dry, itching eyes. Nor have I suffered from debilitating headaches, or constant itching skin. Through the people here at this forum, and from my husband, I have gained some insight into how treatment affects us. As a symbol of my respect to all of you who are on therapies now, or have been, I wanted to share this; something I wrote for Vic, and all of you.

 
Although we share the same rough road,
Yours veered away,
where I could not go.
The hills were many,
they were ragged and steep.
You bravely started the long, hard climb.
Then I watched you falter
and I watched you fall.
Yet, I stood in awe
when your body grew weak-
For you lifted yourself
and I saw you smile.
A serene smile that seemed to say :
"We'll all get through this,
Come what may."
The hills to come
are still steep and cruel,
but your courage prevails
It will see you through.
You will reach the valley
Where the roads are smooth--
Where I have been waiting,
and waiting for you.

I Woke Up
Woman

I woke up one morning to find
That I was losing my mind
The Dr told me I was sick
I thought I'd get well quick
Although since then I have found
I had to stop living with a frown
So I hold my head in my hands
and make way for different plans
Ever since then I have met
lifelong friends I won't forget
And I look around and I see
Such goodness surrounding me
So, if life hands you some pain
take shelter come in from the rain
Find strength in what you can find
Talk to us and be treated kind
Come meet all of my friends
We'll make sure the loneliness ends
leave those bad feelings behind
laugh and gain back your mind
Woman

Love Unexpressed
Constance Fenimore Woolson

The sweetest notes among the human heart-strings are dull with rust;
The sweetest chords, adjusted by the angels, are clogged with dust;
We pipe and pipe again our dreary music upon the self-same strains,
While sounds of crime, and fear, and desolation, come back in sad refrains.

On through the world we go, an army marching with listening ears,
Each longing, sighing, for the heavenly music he never hears;
Each longing, sighing, for a word of comfort, a word of tender praise,
A word of love, to cheer the endless journey of Earth's hard, busy days.

They love us, and we know it; this suffices for reason's share.
Why should they pause to give that love expression with gentle care?
Why should they pause? But still our hearts are aching with all the gnawing pain
Of hungry love that longs to hear the music, and longs and longs in vain.

We love them, and they know it; if we falter, with fingers numb,
Among the unused strings of love's expression, the notes are dumb.
We shrink within ourselves in voiceless sorrow, leaving the words unsaid,
And, side by side with those we love the dearest, in silence on we tread.

Thus on we tread, and thus each heart in silence its fate fulfils,
Waiting and hoping for the heavenly music beyond the distant hills.
The only difference of the love in heaven from love on earth below Is:
Here we love and know not how to tell it, and there we all shall know.

Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old grief's, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints,—I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life!—and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

K. Brooke Arnold

Well

I jumped down a well last spring.
It's been almost a year, and--nothing.
Maybe I shouldn't speak too soon.
Maybe I shouldn't speak at all, hate to hear
"I can't do it . . . can't do it . . . do it . . ."
ricochet stone wall to wall.

Used to believe water held light, but
the deeper you go the darker you know
it gets cold, and no light comes from above.
In your own tunnel you have to own your own light,
have to be your own light.
It all has to come from within.

Beginning to dig as a kid, down to China,
I thought, "Impossible to lose your way
on such a straight shot . . ."
But distance into the earth becomes heat;

heat soon breeds confusion. I am young,
disoriented en route to the Orient.

Carla Marie Maj-Pfleger
 

He cannot tell his mother he's dying.
Somehow he's embarrassed, ashamed of fifty-six years
of imperfections, of doing everything she told him
(even as a teenager) not to do.
He's ashamed for her, too--her second son to die this way,
that out of her milk-white and perfect bones
came a perfect cell that would divide and divide
her heart into a million pieces, if she only knew.

His world was every yellow tulip she breathed in April,
every strawberry whose redness she swallowed in July,
every song on her lips whose notes
slid in tenor waves through her thin skin
and lulled him off to sleep again hush little baby don't say a word.

She once felt his fingers and toes fluttering
beneath the tight skin of her belly, his straining to open his mouth
and tell her everything in the world he knew was beautiful.
Now he feels an invisible weight
pushing out on his belly and his love has no words
for all the nothing in the world
he knows is beautiful.

Sando

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss
and ends with a tear.
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave,
and impossible to forget.
You can only go as far as you push.
Actions speak louder than words.
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you
love, love somebody else.
Don't let the past hold you back, you're
missing the good stuff.
Life's short. If you don't look around once in
a while you might miss it.
A BEST FRIEND is like a four-leaf clover,
HARD TO FIND and LUCKY TO HAVE.
Some people make the world SPECIAL just by
being in it.
BEST FRIENDS are the siblings God forgot to
give us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I believe that friends are quiet angels who lift
us to our feet when our wings have trouble
remembering how to fly"

Sando

If One Day...
If one day you
feel like crying...
Call me.
I don't promise that
I will make you laugh,
But I can cry with you.
If one day you want to run away-
Don't be afraid to call me.
I don't promise to ask you to stop...
But I can run with you.
If one day you don't want
to listen to anyone...
Call me.
I promise to be there for you.
And I promise to be very quiet.
But if one day you call...
And there is no answer...
Come fast to see me.
Maybe I need you.
 

Sando

Life without friendship....
is like the dawn without the sun.
Life without friendship....
is like the sky without the moon
when the evening has begun.
Life without friendship....
is like a rose without rain.
Life without friendship....
just wouldn't be the same.
Life without friendship....
is like a ship without a sea.
Life without friendship....
just could not be
without a friend like you for me